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Give Up to Get Love

Many times when people want to attract their ideal partner, they often make a list of things to do -- action steps, if you will -- that will help them meet "the one." They add new activities into their routine, join dating services, write singles ads. They may start an exercise program or buy new clothes in an effort to look better. They let their friends know they're "in the market."

Seldom do people think of giving up something as a way to attract Mr. or Ms. Right. Well, this is not entirely true. People may give up such things as smoking or overeating. But the kind of "giving-up" I'm referring to is about your beliefs, attitudes and feelings. Giving up something in one of these three areas is more likely to lead you to your Mr. or Ms. Right.

Here is a list of five things you should consider giving up if you want to attract your Mr. or Ms. Right:

1. Give up anger at the opposite sex.
You can tell when people have a chip on their shoulders. And yet those who are angry and disappointed with the opposite sex think their feelings are undetectable. If you can truly give up the anger, you have a much better chance of attracting the partner you want.

2. Give up on your past relationships.
Most of us can tell when someone is unavailable or ambivalent about dating because of an unfinished relationship. If you hope that one of your past partners will come back, others will be able to tell. Your ideal partner will surely want a completely available partner. You'll be hard pressed to attract him or her until you are completely available.

3. Give up trying to be perfect in order to attract a mate.
As long as you think your body, your pocketbook or your emotional well-being have to be in perfect shape in order to be loved, you will remain alone. A state of perfection can seldom be achieved - we are as human beings are inherently imperfect. You are peachy just as you are for some lucky person out there.

4. Give up protecting yourself from hurt.
Lots of singles devise all sorts of tests to make sure potential partners won't hurt them the way they were hurt in the past. This never works because people know when they are being
tested and will either fake it or fail on purpose. Instead, become the type of person who is seldom mistreated and who can set strong, clear boundaries.

5. Give up looking for a relationship.
Looking for a relationship is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Although singles ads and dating services have some success, and are good for getting lots of dating experiences,
most people still meet their life partner by chance. Your best bet for finding your Mr. or Ms. Right is to have a wonderful life now.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
www.WhatItTakes.com

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

About the Author

Having coined the phrase "relationship coach," Master Certified Coach Rinatta Paries works with singles to help them attract their ideal relationship, and helps couples create more love and fulfillment in their existing relationships. Visit her web site at www.WhatItTakes.com or e-mail her at coach@WhatItTakes.com.

Rinatta Paries